Lee Pei Sun: A Truly Remarkable Woman

This article won 2nd prize in eHomemakers

Lee Pei Sun fondly remembers a time when life was so good, almost perfect. As a truly radiant bride of 22, soon after, mother to baby Ping Toh and then, beautiful days basking in her dual role as dutiful wife and doting mother. She loved music and travel, held a steady job and her whole life was so promising.

These days, they are just distant memories that she desperately clutches on to as they try to fade away. Pei Sun now lives in a home for the disabled, abandoned by her husband and living each day looking forward to the monthly visits from her two precious children.

Pei Sun was struck with an incurable degenerating disease soon after her first child was born. Her cerebellum, located behind the front section of the brain, began shrinking. As the cerebellum controls the muscles of the body, Pei Sue began losing muscular co-ordination and became wheelchair bound. She was unable to care for her baby and her mother-in-law had to look after him. Pei Sun was forced to resign from her clerical job and became financially dependent on her husband. Three years later, her second son, Hong Hong was delivered by caesarean section.

What followed was nothing short of harrowing. As Pei Sun struggled to cope with her illness while caring for her children, her husband looked for a relationship outside their marriage. On her twenty-seventh birthday, he informed her that he was moving her to a home. Pei Sun was devastated. Added to the humiliation of being cast aside, she was given an ultimatum – to choose between her sons and maintenance. She chose her sons.

When she first came to the home, she spent hours crying. It’s been a year now and divorce proceedings are still pending. Her mother cares for the boys and Pei Sun has to depend on handouts and the generosity of her five siblings. She regrets being a financial burden to her family but she has little choice as she gets no help from her husband. She manages to earn a little money by selling newspapers.

Despite all she endures, she has the added anxiety that Ping Toh exhibits autistic tendencies. But Pei Sun is not defeated. She is grateful that her cousin brings the boys to visit her once a month. Sometimes, Ping Toh spends the night with her in her small room. He sleeps on a mattress on the floor and she amuses him with music from a radio. Sadly, she cannot cope with both her sons staying over.

Meanwhile, she wants nothing but the best for her sons and does everything within her power to brighten their lives. Although her disability prevents her from playing with them, she wants her sons to have happy childhood memories. She takes them to the playground and on shopping trips and indulges them with what little she can afford. She has even taken them to the zoo. It is cumbersome being limited by her wheelchair but she is completely focused on being a good mother for without her children, she has no reason to live.

Pei Sun's illness is relentless but she does not wallow in self-pity. In fact, as her muscles waste away, even her ability to speak is slowly being affected. Yet she preserveres, trying to prevent further deterioration, by faithfully exercising her muscles on a bicycle. The pain is always excruciating but she refuses to give up.

The young mother has also begun a computer journal recording for her sons to read some day. It focuses on her hopes, her dreams and her values so that the two boys will always be guided by her. Meanwhile, Pei Sun draws strength and solace from her religious beliefs. Yet it is her tenacity and resilience that makes her such a remarkable woman.

Source : e-Homemakers