Cannies Tham: A Guardian Angel

Have you seen Pei Sun’s photos when she was younger? She’s a ‘leng lui’, (beautiful girl) you know. I have dressed her up beautifully with my clothes and applied make-up for her so that she looks stunning for her special occasion today,” says Cannies Tham, Lee Pei Sun’s caregiver at the Beautiful Gate, home for the disabled.

The girl seated next to Cannies dressed in a pretty blood red top and matching pants smiles at everyone around her. “Having seen pictures of her when she was a bubbly young girl and now, watching her confined to a wheelchair, unable to speak clearly and move her limbs, makes my heart ache. Despite the physical disabilities, there’s no denying that Pei Sun is still the same beautiful young girl in the photos,” says Cannies. And the minute Cannies speaks about her two young sons, Pei Sun sobs silently. Cannies turns to comfort her.

Recalling the first time she met Pei Sun more than a year ago, Cannies says, “You see how she cries whenever she thinks of her children? This is how she was when I first met her. In fact, it was worse. She was devastated that her husband was leaving her and taking their children along with him. And her family members did not want to care for her either. Her cousin brother contacted me and asked me to meet her,” she says. “I knew then that I had to take her with me to Beautiful Gate so that she can be in my care. I was afraid that in the state she was in, she might do something drastic to herself.” Cannies immediately returned to the home and proceeded to do the necessary to bring Pei Sun to Beautiful Gate.

“During the first month at the home, Pei Sun used to cry all the time. She loves her children more than anything else in this world and was terrified at the thought of losing her sons after the divorce,” Cannies explains. As expected, Pei Sun’s husband soon contacted Beautiful Gate to inform them of his decision to initiate divorce proceedings against his wife. “He told me that he doesn’t want to provide Pei Sun any maintenance and would not even allow her to visit her sons. That made me very angry,” she says.

Cannies calmly but assertively informed Pei Sun’s husband that his decision to abandon his wife would be unfavorable for him. “I told him that it was not Pei Sun’s fault. It was his fault because he now had a girlfriend and therefore, wanted to leave Pei Sun. I told him that the disease struck Pei Sun when she was pregnant with his child. She carried on with the pregnancy because of her love for him, despite knowing that it may be dangerous for her. Today, she is unable to work and fend for herself. I told him that the odds are against him and if he does not agree to pay maintenance and allow her visitation rights, I will consult a lawyer and matters could get worse,” this bold woman tells me.

It must have taken this petite 33-year-old a lot of courage to stand up to Pei Sun’s husband. And Pei Sun should be extremely grateful to have been blessed with a guardian angel like Cannies. After that ‘little’ informal chat with him, Pei Sun’s husband decided to pay her a monthly maintenance of RM200 and allow her to spend time with her 5-year-old and 3-year-old sons once every month.

Cannies’ good sense and her fight for justice did not stop there. She also contacted Pei Sun’s elder brother and advised him to visit his sister. “I told him that just because she was here at the home, it doesn’t mean that he should not visit her.” Cannies strongly feels that family support is very important to build a person’s confidence, especially when the person is either suffering from a chronic illness or is disabled.

As a welfare officer at Beautiful Gate, Cannies is unable to constantly keep an eye on Pei Sun. She has administrative duties to perform as well. “In the early days, I was worried about her. I told her room mates to look out for her. We always let her do things on her own so that she develops the confidence in her own ability,” she says.

Although Pei Sun’s physical condition is deteriorating day by day, her emotional and mental strength has improved tremendously, says Cannies. “Pei Sun’s main focus now is to get better so that she can be a full-time mother to her two boys. She exercises on the stationary bicycle to keep her muscles from wasting away even though it hurts her.”

Pei Sun’s cousin brings her sons to visit her once every month and the older boy stays with her for a couple of nights. She has a spare mattress and a radio to make them feel comfortable when they visit her in her small room. She squeezes orange juice for them even though it is an effort for her as her fingers are gnarled from the disease.

When they come to visit her, she goes out shopping with them, takes them to the park to play buy them little things that she can afford. “I like to tease Pei Sun when she takes her children shopping. I jokingly ask her why she doesn’t invite me to go along. It makes her laugh. I always keep our conversations light-hearted so that she feels happy all the time. It makes her forget her past, at least for a while,” Cannies says just before the emcee announces the names of all the winners.

Cannies beams with pride as she witnesses Pei Sun being called to receive her prize for winning the second place at the Special Moms Unite! 2006 contest. Much like a mother filled with joy to see her child winning a competition. “Congratulations!” she whispers to Pei Sun, as she proceeds to wheel her up to the stage. Pei Sun's eyes said it all, "Thank you, Cannies, for the tender loving care and attention you continue to provide me. My words will never be enough to express my gratitude".

Source : e-Homemakers