婆婆去世了。
我接到消息时，她已经走了大半天了。
原本想带爸妈在新年期间去探望她，可是却因为到日本受训和到南美洲巴西出席研讨会，以及开不完的会议和工作，而一直将行程延后。
婆婆走了，来到她的灵台前，婆婆的微笑让我对她的记忆忽然间一幕幕的涌现。原来在尘封的内心深处真的隐藏着对婆婆的思念。那段被繁忙的工作所埋藏的感情，那个曾经被自己刻意否认的情感，原来一直都存在。
村里的人都说婆婆很凶，可是我没有看过她发脾气。他们说婆婆很偏心，可是我记得过年排队拿红包时，每人都有一份。我很喜欢每逢过年过节全家人聚在一起的感觉。伯伯、叔叔、婶婶、姑姑、姑丈、堂哥、堂姐、表哥、表姐，当然还有堂弟、堂妹和表弟、表妹。很多大人，很多小孩。大人在中厅吃饭，小孩在厨房吃。白斩鸡和姜葱面线的味道还常常在我的舌根下徘徊。
婆婆的家很大，很干净清洁。大厅有一套梳发和神台，两旁共有四个房间。其中一个不准小孩进去的空房听说是留给四叔的。那时四叔在新加坡工作，许是婆婆盼着他常回来，所以给他留了一个房间。另一个只有两尺高的房板没有床的房间是小孩子的睡房，我曾经在这房间和堂姐堂妹一起睡过好几回。
前院有个空地，种了好些花。一种像蜈蚣般在地上攀缘的红花，婆婆说那叫蜈蚣花。每逢花开时院子就像铺上绿中带红的地毯，煞是好看。屋子左边种有一棵像是柳树的植物，长垂的叶子随风飘荡，是我长大后梦徊时分流连的场景。
后院有一个很大的榴裢园，听妈妈说还有一个猪寮。我没去过后院，只到过设在后院前的厕所，那也是带着忐忑与惧怕的心情匆忙来回。为了不让小孩子跑到榴裢园去，婆婆说那里有老虎。那个陌生的地方所留下的阴影和恐惧感常化着野狼群进入梦中，但一跑到婆婆的厨房野狼就不敢进来。像是婆婆有能力低档豹狼的侵袭，和风雨的侵犯。
不晓得从什么时候开始，渐渐的就很少回婆婆家了。不晓得是不是因为财产分配不均，再加上爸爸心里不甘而患上精神衰弱症，导致我们家和婆婆家产生隔膜；还是我们都长大了，为了自己的学业和事业而奔走他乡，婆婆和婆婆的家从此就只能走进记忆里，对婆婆的感情也被封锁了。
后来听说婆婆来找妈妈，哭诉没有人为她庆祝生日。后来又听说婆婆的财产被分了，榴裢园被卖了。再后来又听说婆婆随五叔搬家了。这些，我都没有太大的感觉，许是我没有给时间让这些感觉沉淀进内心的感情世界，或是无奈的拒绝让她停留。倒是妈妈常为着婆婆凄凉的下半生感叹，每年婆婆生日到了就念着要去探望婆婆，想着婆婆过年有没有人给她买新衣。
婆婆走了，把最后一个微笑停留在灵照上。嘴角微翘，却皱着眉头。
我们不知道婆婆在两个月前跌倒骨折，也不知道婆婆已病入膏肓。他们说不需要让我们这一家人知道，因为我们这一家人多是残障的，不方便回来。我难过了四天，才流下眼泪。
原来我们在他们心中仍然是一个负担。走过了半个地球，竟然还是无法改变他们对我们的观念。飞舞的彩蝶掉了翅膀，虫还是虫。
婆婆的最后一个微笑，笑我是蝶？叹我是虫？是欣慰？是苦涩？沉默的答案虚无缥缈，却叫我的内心沉重不堪。轻轻的微笑，变成重重的铁锤，叫人窒息。
回家路上，望着尖顶的教堂，握着胸前的十架，想起基督那破碎的身躯所承担的羞辱，短暂顿然在永恒的深渊散化，不管是蝶是虫，已不再重要……
（文稿提供：谢秀贞）
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Friday, June 23, 2006
Monday, June 19, 2006
Disabled group has what it takes to do the Macarena
By K.S. USHA DEVI
KUALA LUMPUR: While performing the upbeat Macarena dance might be easy for some people, it becomes a challenge when you’re wheelchair-bound.
However, a group of them at the Fete De La Musique (World Music Day) in Bangsar proved that it just takes an active soul and heart to move to the rhythm of the Latin beat.
Team leader and counsellor, Elaine Sia Ling Ling, 26, was excited that it was the first time that her team was involved at the Fete De La Musique.
All the nine participants are members of the Beautiful Gate Foundation For The Disabled.
FOLLOW THE RHYTHM: The wheelchair-bound participants and volunteers from the Beautiful Gate Foundation doing the Macarena during the Fete De La Musique in Bangsar on Saturday.
“We were invited to participate by HELP Institute coordinator of the festival Dr Choong Yeow Wei, after I wrote a letter to the Institute,” said Sia after the festival on Saturday.
The festival was organised by HELP Institute, DBKL and the French Embassy.
“We were all very excited because we were performing outdoors. It was a new experience for us,” said Sia while her team members Pua Ghin Chu, 24 and Yee Soon Weng, 21, nodded their head in unison.
During the performance, the team moved their wheelchairs in a synchronised manner.
“We practised very hard as we wanted to make sure that all our wheelchairs coordinate properly,” said Pua, an IT diploma holder.
“I am very happy to be a part of this music festival and glad that we made simple costumes for the performance,” said the shy Yee who works at the recycling centre at the foundation.
Sia had a history of muscle dystrophy in her family which lead to her disability while Pua and Yee were wheelchair-bound in their teens after suffering accidents.
The Fete De La Musique is a modern French tradition which first began on June 21, 1982, the day of summer solstice which celebrates the ancient tradition of Saint John’s feast. It has since become a worldwide celebration.
Source : http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2006/6/19/nation/14578925&sec=nation
KUALA LUMPUR: While performing the upbeat Macarena dance might be easy for some people, it becomes a challenge when you’re wheelchair-bound.
However, a group of them at the Fete De La Musique (World Music Day) in Bangsar proved that it just takes an active soul and heart to move to the rhythm of the Latin beat.
Team leader and counsellor, Elaine Sia Ling Ling, 26, was excited that it was the first time that her team was involved at the Fete De La Musique.
All the nine participants are members of the Beautiful Gate Foundation For The Disabled.
FOLLOW THE RHYTHM: The wheelchair-bound participants and volunteers from the Beautiful Gate Foundation doing the Macarena during the Fete De La Musique in Bangsar on Saturday.
“We were invited to participate by HELP Institute coordinator of the festival Dr Choong Yeow Wei, after I wrote a letter to the Institute,” said Sia after the festival on Saturday.
The festival was organised by HELP Institute, DBKL and the French Embassy.
“We were all very excited because we were performing outdoors. It was a new experience for us,” said Sia while her team members Pua Ghin Chu, 24 and Yee Soon Weng, 21, nodded their head in unison.
During the performance, the team moved their wheelchairs in a synchronised manner.
“We practised very hard as we wanted to make sure that all our wheelchairs coordinate properly,” said Pua, an IT diploma holder.
“I am very happy to be a part of this music festival and glad that we made simple costumes for the performance,” said the shy Yee who works at the recycling centre at the foundation.
Sia had a history of muscle dystrophy in her family which lead to her disability while Pua and Yee were wheelchair-bound in their teens after suffering accidents.
The Fete De La Musique is a modern French tradition which first began on June 21, 1982, the day of summer solstice which celebrates the ancient tradition of Saint John’s feast. It has since become a worldwide celebration.
Source : http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2006/6/19/nation/14578925&sec=nation
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